What's There To Say
by Mirrankei
Summary: "Will you walk with me, Tenmyouji?" she asked, and offered me her elbow. I scowled, not daring to look her in the eye. Just being this close to Akane again made my head throb with memories that never happened, and of years and years following blindly in her footsteps. I took her arm in mine.


"Going already?"

I stopped at the sound of her voice, clenching my fist. I didn't turn around, though. I didn't want her to see the power she still had over me. I didn't need her consciousness digging around in my mind to be utterly influenced by her.

"What if I am?" I said harshly. "Nothing left for me in there. My part in this is done."

"What're you talking about, grandpa?" Quark squeezed my hand, looking up at me with big puppydog eyes. "I thought we came all this way because you were looking for Miss Akane."

To look Quark in the eye, I had to turn partway around. Akane was standing behind us with her hands clasped in front of her, patiently waiting. I grit my teeth into a smile and reached up to ruffle Quark's hair, knocking his hat into his eyes.

"It's a little more complicated than that, kiddo," I said. "Listen, why don't you go on ahead and find Luna in the infirmary."

"By myself? You sure?"

"Yeah, go ahead." I glared at Akane. "Zero's gone, after all. No more danger around here."

He looked up at the two of us, his head going back and forth as he studied our faces.

"Oh-kay," he said, drawing it out. "I'll see you later then, grandpa." He smiled and waved brightly down the hall. "Bye, Miss Akane."

She nodded, still smiling blandly at us both. "Good bye, Quark."

She waited until we heard the door open and shut, leaving us alone in the hall outside the garden. Akane took a step towards me. Then another, and another, until she was standing right in front of me. I stood my ground.

"Will you walk with me, Tenmyouji?" she asked, and offered me her elbow.

I scowled, not daring to look her in the eye. Just being this close to Akane again made my head throb with memories that never happened, and of years and years following blindly in her footsteps. I took her arm in mine.

"I had thought you might have something more to say to me, after all these years."

I scoffed. "What's there to say?" We were passing through doors that had never opened for us before. But then, Akane didn't need to follow her own rules.

"I don't know, Catching up, perhaps? I thought you might ask what had happened to me."

"Heard that in my brain back then, did you?" She didn't answer, but her silence spoke volumes. "Fine. What happened? Why'd you leave? What happened to Santa?"

"My brother…." Akane began thoughtfully, ignoring my other questions. "…Aoi succumbed to Radical-6 some years ago. He had no part in this operation. It was quite early in the outbreak."

"I'm sorry to hear that." It wasn't exactly untrue, but I can't say I felt much emotion. Wasn't like I'd known the guy any longer than those nine hours– albeit nine hours lived over and over and over again.

"As for what happened, well, you heard my story in the garden."

"That's not what I've been searching for." I pulled my arm from hers and stopped, scowling. "Why did you leave me behind? You knew I was looking for you. You must have."

Akane merely looked down at the ground, her face still in that placid, unhappy smile.

"What the hell happened to you, Akane? It can't have just been Radical-6 and all that. Something _really_changed you."

"Everything I have done has been for the greater good, Junpei. After you saved me, I knew the morphogenetic field could be used for good. "

"Don't give me any of that philosophic crap," I spat at her. "You kidnapped us twice, you dragged me and Clover into this _twice_! God knows if we're even the only ones. How many times have you run a Nonary Game, _Zero_? How many people's lives have you ruined? How many of your experiments ended only with failure? How many people have died for your cause?"

Akane shook her head slowly. "You do not understand."

"No, I do understand, Akane. I do. I get what you're trying to do, I understand that desire to fix everything– why not, if we have that power? I don't just get it, hell, I admire it. If there's a way to fix the world, then go for it. But you don't understand what you're really doing, what all your attempts have led to."

I gestured behind us, back the way we'd come. "I didn't realize how far you'd gone until I saw what you did to that kid."

Akane clasped her hands again and cocked her head to the side. "Kyle– K– is like a son to me. He was aware of what would happen long before we put our plan into action. It was as much his decision as–"

"I'm not talking about K, I'm talking about Sigma!" I grabbed the front of my hair hard enough to tug out a whole strand.

Akane mercifully fell silent.

"For God's sake, he's twenty-two years old and you not only kidnapped him, you forced him into an old man's body with no explanations, pushed him into life or death situations and sent him away with the expectation that he will become the same twisted monster that you have."

Akane shook her head. "Sigma is stronger than that. You can't understand what he has been through, will go through."

"If there's anyone in the world who can understand what he's feeling right now, it's me."

She didn't have an answer for that.

I sighed. "I thought that you could understand that sort of thing too, that you could at least empathise. Experiencing the deaths of people close to you, to say nothing of your own… It changes you, Akane."

"I know that, Junpei."

"Do you?" My voice sounded weak and tired to my own ears. This conversation was somehow more exhausting that the whole Nonary Game. At least, this timeline's version of it. "I don't know if it changed you, but something did. The Akane I knew could understand others' feelings, cared about them. She would never do something like this."

"Junpei," Akane said sadly. She stepped up to me and held out her hands to cup my cheeks. "The Akane you remember was nine years old."

"And June?" Her hands slipped down my face. I caught them in my own.

"An illusion," she said, staring at our entwined fingers. "A character, created from your memories to hide Zero. Real enough at the time, but… no longer needed."

"Gone." I dropped her hand and stepped away from her. I slowly turned to put my hand on the door control. "I should get back to Quark."

"What will you do?"

"Go home. Back to Earth." I smiled at her, feeling my face tighten and twitch with repressed emotion. "I hope your plan succeeds, Akane. I really do. I hope that Sigma and Phi change the past and make a new timeline with no plague, no explosions, no suffering. But I have to go take care of this timeline, nonetheless. Whatever happens to Sigma, whatever world he and Phi create… For me, what's happened has happened. Nothing to do but try and make the best of it."

"Of course," said Akane. "I shall resume my work as well, for all timelines' sakes."

"Sure," I said. I was sure my voice sounded anything but agreeable. "Good luck."

I opened the door, not able to look at her any longer. But I paused on the other side, stopping her before she continued on her way. "Maybe in that other timeline, I'll find you sooner, and I can stop you from ever having to become Zero."

Akane was quiet for a long time, but when she finally spoke, I could hear the smile in her voice. "I hope so. Goodbye, Jumpy."

"Goodbye…Kanny."

The door shut behind me with a metallic clang.

…

The sound resonated in the empty hallway. It made my head pound with dim memories of things that never happened. My chest hurt, and I shut my eyes against the bright fluorescent light to hold back warm tears.

"Grandpa?"

Quark squeezed my hand to get my attention. I looked down at him, trying to hide my weakness. It wouldn't do to scare my own grandson now that this ordeal was finally over.

"Aren't you going to say goodbye to Miss Akane?"

I turned to look at the shut door. It looked just like all the other doors in this godforsaken place, only unique with its little blue sign above the door, **B-Garden**.

"No," I said. "What's there to say?"

"But you came all this way!"

"I know." I squeezed Quark's hand and smiled down at him. He smiled uncertainly back, and for a moment, I could see someone else in his smile. A little girl his age on a hilltop, beaming in the light of the sunset; and an old woman, such melancholy and sadness trapped in her eyes.

"It doesn't matter any more. We have our own future to worry about without obsessing over _her_ past." I ruffled his hair, pushing his hat into his eyes. "Come on, kiddo. Let's go home."


End file.
